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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels
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September 2009
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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels [userpic]

Every once in a while I long for something I do not have.

Every once in a while I feel pretty. Sometimes it takes, but usually it is lost in the surreality of the situation. Usually it's only a question of how long it takes me to find my way out of that surreality.

And every once in a while - every once in a great long while - not nearly as often as I'd like - I realize that what I do have is really pretty damn good.

I have just said something remarkably uncharacteristic and yet somewhat fulfilling of a self-prophecy. Behold, here are your gods; what are they now?

And I never want to sleep, because as soon as I sleep this beautiful dream will dissipate. This sweetness of striving. This unexpected rebirth.

This moment is why I didn't call it quits as soon as the coffeemongers bailed. This moment is the reason.

In the future, I am so hopelessly in love.

In the future I am.