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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels
lucypevensie
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September 2009
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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels [userpic]
What to doooooo

So... it is high time Lucy decides what to do with her future.

Here is the conflict:

Lucy is (at this very moment) looking at Drew's Casperson School homepage - MA and PhD in Liturgical Studies *and* Theological & Religious Studies.

I am so excited about the prospect of studying *any* of these things that I could just throw up. In a good way.

And yet, when the excitement fades, I will indubitably be awash with trepidation. If I follow this course, I can't think of anything I could do for a career other than teach in a college or uni.

Which is fine... and I can't really think of anything I'd *rather* do as a career. (At least, not anything practical.)

But it feels so much like signing in stone what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.
And that's scary.

I also don't know if I'm brave enough to go somewhere where I actually have to find out what happens when I have to work at my full potential on a regular basis to succeed. I don't know if I have the guts to swim out of my little pond into the big ocean. I didn't expect to like the little pond much to begin with, but it's gotten comfortable here. Comfort is hazardous, though.

::pulls hair::

Comments

No, probably not.

I would have to explain to myself before I even started that I was just doing it on a trial basis - otherwise I would have so many failure issues 'dropping out' that ... well, I would never do it. :P

Some quick shaft of light just passed across the root of the reason I stress out so much and then glinted back into oblivion, but I don't remember what it was. Perhaps it will return.

If I settle for anything, it will be because I can't make up my mind. :P