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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels
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September 2009
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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels [userpic]

I love you, and I have loved you, and no matter who I may fancy falling in love with, I will always love you. My heart (corporeal) is irrevocably yours - and I rejoice that you have finally accepted it for what it is. Anything else is just icing. With many people I am not really myself, not all myself. With a few people I am almost myself, as much as I know how to try to be. But only you know me - not with words or ideas, but with experience - better than sometimes I do, so well that artifice becomes irrelevant.

And someday I will remember that love is not a finite quantity.

Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful

That's lovely.

Presumably I can guess who this is addressed to.

Someday you will write a great book of poetry about this. Not that you haven't already.

Ehh... actually, you might be surprised.

For graduation (I think, or Christmas - anyway it was some years ago) my mom gave me one of those huge blank journals from Borders (it's 8.5 x 11 and like 386 pages or something.) It continues to be completely empty, and that is starting to irk me. The only problem is that I can't decide whether it should be for drafts or whether I should have something good and coherent before it is worthy to be written in The Book.

I recently found the notebook containing the first drafts of the intro of How to Fly that I wrote in Pittsburgh many summers ago (3 or 4). I still really like it - I like the story and I think it's one of my better pieces of writing as far as tone and style. But I have come to seriously question my characters' constructions. They can't quite be real.

Though it does sort of occur to me that I don't think they were supposed to be quite real.

Want a spot on the Writing Cheerleading Squad, Round 2? I need to nudge myself along a bit more earnestly than I've been doing.

YES! Re: Cheerleading squad. I think "How to Fly" was indeed a very good piece because it was based so much on your own experiences. I would be interested to see how you would construct the coming-of-age theme now with more years behind you. I really think you have some interesting things to say and of course we both know I think you're a brilliant writer. So, write away, and I am always willing to read it. Also, I would not worry too much about the reality/unreality of your characters--as you say, they were not supposed to be quite real to begin with.

:D :D

You rock my socks.

I have no idea where any old drafts are besides the one in my notebook (perhaps they're at home?) At any rate, I spent most of my stupid class reading, reorganizing, tweaking. I think I tacked on about another page extra.

Yeah. About a page.

But now I am tired and shaky and should really be in bed. So on to that.

Perhaps it would be best to do some writing on it without having the old drafts anyway, just to see where it might lead you.

What has sparked your religious Renaissance lately?

I will be interested to see how this works into the story.

Problematic about trying to start over is that I remember so well how it went (the basic shape of it, anyway). It seems it is one of those stories I have been telling myself on a semiregular basis ever since I wrote it (and probably since before then) without really realizing I was doing it or thinking about it or... - but like a song you overhear on the radio, it's ingrained in memory.

And almost none of what I've written was so specific to the introduction that it wouldn't fit with which few changes I've wrought.

As for the religious renaissance - I think far more important will be the evolution of archetypes floating around in my semiconscious.