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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels
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September 2009
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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels [userpic]
Go, allnighter, go!

I helped Teddi with her theory this... um... evening (~1:15A).

There were a few moments when I desparately despaired of coming up with some way to explain it that it would make sense - some way that applied to anything more than the assignment at hand. And she'd go "What??" And I'd go "Ermmm... try it this way." And I drew little charts, and counted on my fingers, and Lindsey did too.

And she got it.

It was by far one of the most amazing moments I've ever had. Sitting there on Lindsey's bed, all krunked around to look at the book - I helped someone understand something she didn't understand before.

It rocked. Tee hee - "Too much rock for one hand!"...

So now I'm writing and (surprisingly) not falling asleep. Maybe it was that lengthy doze I took in Archaeology.

If anyone has any good ideas how not to fall asleep in class... I'd be glad to hear them. Try as I might, it seems I can't not fall asleep in Archaeology.

I've got one page of intro and two pages of quotes for my music history paper. I'll be able to put in about a page worth of examples, which I can make take up a whole lot more space. But all in all, I think that isn't bad for something I didn't even have any sources for 6.5 hours ago.

I had another weird suffocating dizzy spell this morning - result being that my lesson was an unspeakable travesty. I know I told some of you that I thought the weird-out session at MMEA was a first time thing, but I was thinking about it in band today and I remember something similar happening on the bus on the way to Cuba on tour last spring. I felt like crap (my head was all congested to begin with) and I hurt all over and I just sat there curled into a miserable little lump the whole ride - when we got out, I had to walk up and down and take some deep breaths before the feeling of imminent doom passed.

I forget where this was going. My tummy hurts.

Current Mood: heartburny

Please go to the doctor, dude--it really sounds to me like you might be having panic attacks. You don't have to suffer through them, especially if they seem to be increasing in frequency. Even if it turns out to be something else, I think you might benefit enormously from seeing a doc.

Hope you get some sleep today.


Sleep: ME TOO.

Doc: ::scrutinizes schedule for next few days; drinks copious amounts of water:: Friday, maybe?

Stupid thought: Are they going to make me quit doing all my stuff? Because dammit, I fought to enjoy doing all this stuff and I finally do.


I hope they say, "Hmm, your friend Bolter is quite the alarmist. Here, take some vitamin C and you'll be fine."

I don't think they can make you do anything. Except maybe make you not pull any more all-nighters.... >;-)

Good luck.

oh no you di'int.

'Kay, homes, I *know* you did NOT just disrespect my allnighter. Tee hee.

::feels a need to tell you for the 4th or 5th time that am planning to go in the morning::

Why am I perfectly delighted to go see someone about possible panic attacks, but nothing I could think would motivate me to go see someone about depression/anxiety/general crackedoutedness?