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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels
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September 2009
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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels [userpic]

Somebody tell me what to do.

I thought January camp was going to be at Lafayette in St. Louis. Two hour drive, no big sweat.

It's not. It's in Dubuque.

I can't afford to drive to Dubuque. And I'd probably crash my car 'cos I'm so tired, and I wouldn't make it back for anything Sunday, that's for damn sure.

I can't really not go, though.

I can't play American Overture from memory because I DON'T FEKKING HAVE THE MUSIC, and I'm supposed to be able to play it FROM MEMORY by now (one of the requirements for an audition tape, which I was supposed to mail in by today if I couldn't make it.)

When I realized this, I kid you not, I broke into hysterical sobs.

I realized that maybe if I'm sobbing hysterically, perhaps I shouldn't do this.

And I thought about taking off my triangles for good, and that really REALLY flipped me out.

Christ. I don't know what to do. I should probably call the office. I don't know if any of my phone cards work. And what the hell do I say? "I'm an irresponsible idiot who can't read a webpage"?


Current Mood: hysterical

You can use my phone card to call and tell them about the mix-up. How long would it take it you to memorize the piece? Could you get a week's extension?

But there's not much you can do about not being able to afford it, y'know?

I remember you feeling like this before you left last summer--or, at least, that you weren't sure you wanted to commit to it. Did going end up being the right decision for you?

Good luck, m'dear.

I finally found a useful card. Things are okay - Vicki did give me an extra week, but this isn't as much use as it could be, as I have to leave Wednesday morning for Tan-Tar-A...

Whether or not last summer was the right decision is entirely contingent on this summer. If this summer is good, it's because all the shit last summer made it possible. If this summer is bad... well, the whole thing was pretty much a bust. So of course it's a very low-pressure situation (ha).

Also, sorry I never made it back. Did you get a bunch of messages from therajune? That was me... I don't remember when I sent them, so I don't know if you got them.