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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels
lucypevensie
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September 2009
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thoughts and feels and thoughts and feels [userpic]
Freshmen 1921

yellow leaves form a wet collage
mosaic
on sidewalk
ancient

wet night
low clouds
and ghosts, ghosts everywhere

i squelch through
leaves
stems
earthworms (phylum annelida)

ghosts i smell
and see
and hear

a hollow in the pit of my stomach
when will it stop?

when may i be one of them?

back through
earthworms
and stems
and leaves

across a wet mosaic, yellow-blue-gray
whose hands laid?
whose hearts remember?

slide open my window...
seek not the living among the dead
and let in
the ghosts
the rain
the yellow.

Comments

Hey, did you write that? That's very eerie. You write in a very similar style to how I write. If you're ever interested in reading some of my stuff, you can check out this link: http://allpoetry.com/poets/Seretje%20Verre That's where I post now for the most part, but I've written on other sites before.

This was very beautiful and visual. I liked the colors and the arrangement of the words. I especially liked earthworms and then their scientific name after it in parantheses. I would probably give you more feedback if it weren't so crazily early and I was a bit more awake.

I'm glad you liked it. :)

I haven't written much lately. Even when I was writing a lot, I didn't do much like this.

Thanks for the encouragement. :) :)

I second the bit about the earthworms.

I really like the last stanza.

I like the reversals--"seek not the living," instead of "seek not the dead," "let in/the ghosts/the rain/the yellow" instead of trying to keep them out.

I'm happy to be reading things you've written again, m'dear. >;-)

::grins::

"Why do you seek the living among the dead?" It's from the Easter pericope (or one of them, anyway...). I'm not entirely sure what it has to do with anything, but... :P it sounded cool.

Am happy to be writing again, in whatever half-assed way I am. 8-)